Sunday, January 30, 2005

Graceful Tripping

Some stories are more difficult to tell.

Recently, it involved childhood friends, a wedding, and a few story threads that have dangled, sparking like downed powerlines on a country road.

I think it revolved around this idea of being right. That has to be at the root. Giving everyone a reason to keep us in the lifeboat, as a friend said. Trying to legitimize our place. The buying into and the hastily selling of the law. There was a time when we bought it, and did our best to compartmentalize our lives into a)what we could pull off successfully, and b)what we could let no one know about. Otherwise named, failures. Sometimes to one's own knowledge, sometimes in front of many viewers.

Well, weddings are public things, and lots of people were viewing a lot this weekend.

This part is old stock, but continues true - wanting to pull one's own weight, and bury the old man - always to a "run-out-of-gas" tragic end. Well, this involved somebody's old man, literally. The difficult part about this father job is, they are more than a father. It's some quiet context to understand God the father. Or authority in our lives. Well, it's that "rules without relationship brings rebellion" idea which follows in this case.

I'm being veiled about this story in some silly ways. I wonder if it's even worth finishing this.

I never want to see my disappointment about my life or my friends or my family to allow me to get written out of their story. Or to write them out of my story. Even for a small amount of time. I saw the effects of that on certain people this weekend, and it reminded me in my own relationships, how I've experienced parts of that kind of sadness/anger.

I wished the best for the bride and groom, and hope that they'll collapse graciously towards each other in the different seasons. Sometimes each other is all they will have. As a new husband, new father, and new example of love, I hope that he'd pursue remaining in their child's story, even as his son one day will most assuredly fall on them. I hope he provides for his new son a safe place to fail well, a place he didn't have growing up.

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